Windsor-Lake St. Clair 

Discernment and decision-making at the end-of-life take-home resource - Appendix 6 Module 1

When confronted by a loved one’s illness and dying, people often do not know where to turn for help. It is important for us to realize that within our communities, many people, organizations and online resources are available to assist us as we live this new reality. Below you will find a number of links to organizations that can be very helpful. This page is available at www.cccb.ca

• Help Starts Here — www.211.ca : Looking for help? For assistance finding housing, language training, employment and much more, call 2-1-1. It's free, offered in over 100 languages, and available in most parts of Canada day or night. Click on the map to search for services online in your community.

• Go Wish “Go Wish gives you an easy, even entertaining way to talk about what is most important to you. The cards help you find words to talk about what is important if you were to be living a life that may be shortened by serious illness.” http://www.gowish.org

• Hello: “The Conversation Game: Hello is a conversation game. It's the easy, non-threatening way to start a conversation with your family and friends about what matters most to you. https://commonpractice.com/products/hello-game

• Speak Up — Advance Care Planning: www.advancecareplanning.ca

Advance care planning in your province or territory:
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/acp-across-canada/

ƒ You and your family:
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource-library/#resourcelibrary|category:you-and-your-family

Advance Care Planning Workbooks and Quick Guides:
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource-library/#resource-library|category:you-and-your-family

ƒ Conversation starters:
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/conversation-starters/

Choose a Substitute Decision Maker:
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/choosing-a-substitute-decision-maker/

Speak up Wallet Card: 
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/speak-up-wallet-card-bookmark/

CPR Decision Aids: 
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/cpr-decision-aids/

ICU Workbook: 
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/icu-workbook/

Cancer Planning Toolkit: 
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/cancer-toolkit/

First Nations Resources: 
https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/resource/first-nations-acp-resources/

Planning Guide for a Home Death (Click Here for a downloadable copy)

Adapted from Pallium Canada (2021) Planning Guide for a Home Death

 Make sure your pharmacist is aware of your plan to die at home.

3. Have you had a conversation with the health care provider to ensure that you and the team are knowledgeable about what dying from this illness might look like? If you have not yet done so, please have this conversation so that you and the team are better prepared.

Record what to expect below:

4. Is there a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) or Allow Natural Death (AND) order in place?

Yes ___ No ___

If yes, communicate this information with the health care team and end-of-life care team and

keep it with this plan.

If no, have this important discussion with the patient while ultimately accepting their decision.

5. Find out what the 24/7 contact number is for questions that are not a 911 emergency.

Record the number here: ___________________________________

For example, if the patient seems in more pain than usual, you can call the above number to speak to a nurse or doctor for support in getting their pain under control.

6. Do you have an end-of-life team in place for the final weeks and days? This team can include

family, friends, and parish and community members. Know who the members of the team are and when they are scheduled to accompany the patient (for example, Monday from 8 a.m. until noon). This will be of comfort for the primary caregivers and will allow them to try and get some rest.

7. Do you have a Plan B in place if dying at home is no longer the best option? Consult your health care team for guidance.

There could come a point when dying at home is no longer the ideal location and the patient should be moved to a hospice or hospital for additional support. If the patient needs to be moved out of the home, please do not feel that this means you have failed them. Ensuring that they get the best care, even if it is outside the home, shows you have not failed them.

Note your Plan B option below

Christian Funerals

Many people today, especially Catholics, have decided to plan their funerals. Planning one’s funeral does not have the same stigma as it once did. Some plan their funerals because family members may not share the same beliefs

concerning life after death and the resurrection or may not be familiar with or sympathetic to Catholic funeral practices. Others wish to spare their loved ones the burden of planning a funeral. Sometimes there is no one to assume

this responsibility. Part of funeral planning involves burial plans. Many people have specific plans they want carried out, such as information on where they wish to be buried, or some people may consider becoming organ donors. Some do not wish cremation, and others do. It is important that the deceased person’s wishes are respected as far as possible.

Let us look at what is involved in a Catholic funeral to help with planning.

Who can have a Catholic funeral?
A Catholic funeral is a celebration of our faith in the Lord’s mercy and kindness and is a sign of the hope and consolation we offer to those who are bereaved. A Catholic funeral is not a reward for a good life but an expression of the care of Christ and the Church for a member whose earthly journey has ended. The baptized and  catechumens, saints and sinners, rich and poor, people who went to church every day and people who have not practised their faith in years are all members of the Church and can all have a Catholic funeral.

Why have a Catholic funeral?
A person may be tempted to spare friends and relatives the pain and expense of elaborate funeral ceremonies. But the bereaved may need this opportunity to express their loss and support for one another. Catholics are encouraged to experience the richness of traditional funeral and burial rites—to honour the deceased person and to comfort those who mourn. Ties of friendship and bonds of love do not end with death. The funeral rites are our opportunity to express the care and love we gave to the deceased throughout their last years and their final illness. Our prayers for the dead accompany them on their journey to God’s Kingdom and assure them of the support and presence of the Body of Christ that began at Baptism, was expressed in the Sacrament of the Sick, and was strengthened in Holy Communion  throughout their lives and during their time of illness.

Planning the funeral:
The Order of Christian Funerals guides the Catholic community with specific rites and prayers to express consolation and hope to those who grieve, to give thanks to God for the blessings received by and through the deceased, and to ask God’s mercy on all sinners. It is designed to help those who are grieving to confront death in light of the life, suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus. “In the face of death, the Church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, by his death and resurrection, has broken the chains of sin and death that bound humanity” (Order of Christian Funerals [OCF], 1).

A Catholic funeral has three distinct parts. These give the bereaved time to begin to accept the reality of death, express their sorrow, reflect upon the deceased person’s life, give thanks to God, pray in light of Jesus’ resurrection, and find strength and consolation.

1. The vigil: The vigil is an important moment in pastoral care for the living. The vigil allows the family, friends and the Christian community to face the reality of death and begin the process of grieving and healing. It is an opportunity to gather to remember the life of the deceased, express grief, and offer comfort and consolation. This is an essential part of the ministry of Christ that the Church offers to the bereaved. The vigil is usually held in a funeral home but may take

place in the family home, church or other suitable location (OCF, 83). It includes a reading of the Word of God and prayers for the deceased and those who mourn. This is a suitable occasion for sharing stories and remembrances of the deceased. Even when the body of the deceased was buried shortly after death, was cremated, was donated for medical research, or was not found, the family is encouraged to gather for a prayer vigil. A picture of the deceased may be placed on a table with some flowers and a candle.

2. The funeral Mass: “Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise, and thanksgiving to God for the gift of life which has now been returned to God, the author of life and hope of the just. The Mass, the memorial of Christ’s death and resurrection, is the principal celebration of the Christian funeral” (OCF, 5). In the funeral Mass, there is an emphasis on the Baptism of the deceased, since it is through Baptism in Jesus that each person receives the promise of eternal life. The white pall draped over the casket or urn, the holy water and the Easter candle are symbols of Christ’s life, which is bestowed through the waters of Baptism.

Readings chosen from Sacred Scripture are proclaimed at the Mass. Parishes and funeral homes often make resources available for selecting Sacred Scripture to those who will prepare a loved one’s funeral.

Words of remembrance or eulogies are not part of the funeral Mass. As regulations vary from diocese to diocese, the parish where the funeral Mass will take place will be able to provide helpful information on ways of including words of remembrance.

Homily: A brief homily based on the readings is always given after the Gospel reading at the funeral liturgy; it is not a eulogy. The homily is directed at helping all who are gathered to understand the mystery of God’s love and how the mystery of Jesus’ victorious death and resurrection were present in the life of the deceased and are present in our lives.

Music is an important element during the funeral. The words of the sacred hymns and songs in the parish’s music resources “express the mystery of the Lord’s suffering, death and triumph over death” (OCF, 30). Many dioceses have policies for music at funerals. The parish can advise on this.

Funeral outside Mass: When Mass cannot be celebrated, a funeral liturgy outside Mass may be used. A Mass for the deceased should be celebrated, if possible, at a later time (OCF, 12). A funeral liturgy outside Mass is ordinarily celebrated in the parish church (OCF, 350).

3. The rite of committal: “The rite of committal, the final act of the community of faith in caring for the body of its deceased member (OCF, 377), is celebrated at the grave, tomb, or crematorium and may be used for burial at sea” (OCF, 512). Prayers are offered to commit the body to its final resting place. When the body has been or will be cremated, appropriate adaptations are made to the prayers of committal and signs of farewell.

Resources:

Catholic Funerals and Eulogies, the Pall and the Flag
https://www.cccb.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Catholic_Funerals_and_Eulogies_the_Pall_and_the_Flag.pdf

Sacred Scripture Selections for a Funeral Liturgy
https://esubmitit.sjpg.com/cccb/index.

Cremation:

Catholics and Cremation
https://www.cccb.ca/document/catholics-and-cremation/

Cremation and Funeral Liturgies
https://www.cccb.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/185-134.pdf

French resources:

Passages De La Vie
https://www.diocesemontreal.org/fr/passages-de-la-vie/deuil

La célébration des funérailles chrétiennes
https://www.archtoronto.org/fr/our-faith/sacraments--sacramentals/funerals/